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[Live Event] Another Gensokyo Soccer Celebration

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"Die Meister!

Die Besten!

Le grandes equipes!

THE CHAMPIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONS!"


Amidst the cheering emitting from the sound systems of the newly installed Plasma TV, a certain puppeteer was thrown down by a certain Flower Youkai. Of course this would only mean that Alice Margatroid was trying to avoid another rape attempt by Yuuka Kazami. In this case, that scenario is incorrect, as their own dignity is on the line as well as a chance for their teams to play in the finals in Berlin.

If you would have guessed, yes it was the 2014-2015 UEFA Champions League semi-final 2nd leg matchup between FC Barcelona and FC Bayern Munich at Camp Nou.

Reimu, the Eternal Shrine Maiden of Gensokyo, sighed in disappointment. She knew that the one incident involving Fudoshi, an immortal soccer ball, and unfair AI mechanics would lead to chaos, just not this type of chaos. Ever since he heard about the “Touhou Soccer” incidents, Keahi, with a certain Kappa’s help, introduced the UEFA Champions League to the residents of Gensokyo along with the various Top Flight Leagues in the World, including some women’s leagues such as the NWSL and the Japanese L-League. He even introduced the AFC, OFC, CONCACAF, and CAF Champions Leagues as well as the COMNEBOL Copa Libertadores.

However, this lead to feverous devotion towards a certain team and, in turn, lead into an increase in Spell Card duels and, even more shocking, bloody fistfights in Gensokyo. For example, when AC Milan didn’t make it to even the UEFA Europa League, the second-tier continental club competition in Europe, she didn’t leave the Underground for a week until Koishi managed to coax her sister out of her closet. It’s even worse with Heida no Akyuu, in which her favorite team, Olympiakos of Greece, didn’t make it to the knockout stages of the Champions League and later lost to now Europa League semi-finalists FK Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk of Ukraine in the Europa League round of 32.

Tenshi was drinking a whole lot of Sake while watching Alice and Yuuka fight, again. Her team, Bordeaux, failed to make it to the Champions League once again and they looked like won’t be in the Champions League for the next season as well. However, unlike everyone else on the Palaquin ship, she actually enjoys these types of get-togethers. The fights are fierce, the sake is good, the futbol is even better as it features some of the world’s best duking it out on one field, and the best part was some of the overt emotions people have whenever something happens. Hell, even Kokoro had some extreme facial emotions when Dnipro tied with Napoli at the last second on the first leg of the Europa League semi-finals. She heard Keahi said that this soccer thing is called “The Beautiful Game” and she can see why. And for that reason, she is actually happy regardless of the results, even if her team is relegated from Ligue 1.

Meanwhile, Marisa Kirisame, the “Ordinary” Magician, was trying to break up the fight between Alice and Yuuka. Marisa pulled on the sleeve of Alice’s red Bayern Munich jersey, gesturing her to stay away from the Flower Youkai. The Yuuka in question, however, just merely looked at the TV and was quietly pleasing herself to Lionel Messi’s face.

“Why?” Yuuka wimpered as she puts her hand on the TV screen as if she is trying to touch Messi’s face, “Why don’t you gap him instead of Jack Yukari you fucking cunt…”

Keahi, the magician Youkai from the Pacific ocean, overheard what Yuuka said and began to back off considerably. Even though Yuuka’s Sadist days are over since the last decade, she is still somewhat questionable in terms of her life choices, trying to rape Alice during last year’s summer season being one of them. The Dimension bender shrugged it off as loneliness, however, as Elly has not been back from Holland since the last five years (some of the Station Wagon have said she has joined the Dutch corner *winkwink*).

Meanwhile, Yukari was boasting that her team, Inter Milan, has dominated Bayern in 2010. Of course that was received by a blow to the head from a certain purple-haired Satori. Reimu wondered how her team, Real Madrid, were doing. It’s not like she’s into this sort of stuff and Christiano Ronaldo is a Gappy brat even in Sanae’s books, but Real Madrid is a rich team, and Reimu loves riches. However, this lead to many people teasing about Reimu’s tastes along with some death threats but the Red-white didn’t care one bit (live it easy people!).

But there is one thing that gets on her nerves…

“You’re a cunt!”

Reimu’s ears perked and her straight face turned into a frown of disappointment.

“You’re a cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunt!”

Now her frown turned into an angry face as she readies her seals and needles.

“Nobody loves you, because you’re a cu—“

The Taoist Saint and local Gensokyo Juventus fan, Toyosatomimi no Miko, wasn’t able to react in time as she was knocked out instantly by a kick in the gut by Reimu. The Hakurei Shrine Maiden hated that chant. It doesn’t help that Juventus has the advantage going into the 2nd leg as well against Real Madrid.

As the match dragged on, Alice and Yuuka glared at each other throughout while also getting quick peeks at what is currently happening.

“Well this feels familiar, doesn’t it Alice?” Yuuka told the Seven-colored magician.

Alice smirked.

“Maybe next time,” Alice said while staring at Yuuka, “We can fight to determine who will win should our teams cross paths again.”

Yuuka liked the sound of that but both her and Alice received head bonks by Byakuren as all of the guests continued to watch the game. Emotions that weren’t usually expressed were shown in full force and with a level of intensity never seen by anyone. Some people just got more and more drunk and disorderly as the match lagged on for the 90 minutes plus stoppage time.

In the end, Bayern Munich won in Barcelona 3-2 but it was the Blue and Claret of FCB that advances to the final with an aggregate score of 5-3. Alice was not happy one bit for three weeks and even more when Barca won the Champions League Finals. But, Marisa promised “something special” for bi-curious magician.

As another season of action-packed futbol/soccer comes to a close, Reimu can only count the days until all of this chaos starts up again. Then again, however, considering how much donations the Myouren Temple received from those matchups, maybe she could do a special festival in dedication to the sport itself. The Greedy Shrine Maiden snickered as she worked up the plans, and the blackmail, to get the next big thing going ahead of the 2015-2016 UEFA Champions League season.


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Well, here is my next Live Event submission! I have no idea if I did this right because this is my first try at submitting a prose document and a pic, but hopefully I did good.

This prose work is based on two things: a set of Touhou/UEFA CL artwork made by 生茶すくえあ and a Heineken commercial about a group of guys potentially missing out on an important UCL match and somehow managing to get a TV signal and they were able to watch the game.

Criticism is indeed needed, as I am using this to prep for the Cirnoblade Chronicles Prologue!

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Cheers to :iconzunplz: for Touhou.

Cheers to :iconshinkong: for the Arms props.

Cheers to UEFA for the UCL.

Cheers to :iconkirbym: for Walfas.
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